One of the strangest documents I‘ve received via Twitter was this leaked mail from the Libyan government (sorry, I should say from the illegal union still threatening the freedom seeking Libyans).
In a desperate try to re-legitimize themselves (which is more than impossible) they wrote the following letter to some major PR agencies (comments correspond to the thoughts of an average reasonable marketing expert):
Subject: Mission for Peace (?)
Dear Sir/madam
My Name is Ali and I work for the “” at the Ministry of Information in Libya. (Poor guy ..)
We are seeking to employ your PR company to present our just and fair (Fair??? 42 years terrorizing the own population isn‘t fair, or?) case to the world. Libya has been under an unjustified media and PR attack (aha, an attack, not a campaign) which led to NATO’s military involvement since the 19th of March. We also face an armed rebellion that has been causing violence, terror and destruction in many parts of the country (Sure? In every liberated part I see smiling, happy people).
We have good moral (you mean the stubbornness of your boss), political and legal logic supporting our position as the legitimate, sovereign and popular government of Libya (Logic? Legitimate?? Popular??? Three lies in one sentence, mind that!). We also have proofs in written, audio and video forms to take our case forward (Oh, you mean Saifs deranged recordings? Hold on ,til we called our psychiatrist.).
The African Union, Libya’s essential geopolitical space (Please, don‘t involve a whole continent in your dirty affairs!), has been supporting (The voice of Mugabe doesn‘t count!)our effort to establish (rest in) peace and security (prisons) for all Libyans, so have important political figures from around the globe (Wait: Pol Pot and Baby Doc passed away .. Kim Yong Il?).
If we reach an agreement we will make sure it will be for the good of all Libyans and in accordance with the UN resolutions on Libya (Very simple: You surrender and deliver yourself to The Hague. Receipts of the TV broadcast will be collected in a fund for the Libyan victims you left). We can formalise any deal with your organisation through a third party to help move things forward fast (The third party we accept are the security officers who handcuffs you).
In particular, we need you to help us (Now it gets thrilling):
- Improve the image of the Libyan government in your country (Very easy. You are are bunch of mass murders under the lead of an old narcistic clown).
- Open direct communication channels to members of Parliament, party leaders and members of government (The problem is: even if we open those communication channels the politicians won‘t listen to you. If they want senseless entertainment they switch on the comedy channel.).
- Create effective communication platforms for the members and leaders of the Libyan government (That‘s to handle. Your counsels for the defense will listen to you wherefore we all pity them).
- Assist the Libyan government to define their political and strategic mission and to transmit the statements in appropriate wording (What about simply pledging guilty?).
- Organize or assist in daily media briefings and/or formal media conferences (Don‘t need to. The High Court will appreciate your presence as well).
- Organize off-the-record and on-the-record one-on-one meetings with opinion leaders of your national media (I‘m afraid we haven‘t got so many bewildered anymore in our media landscape. But I assure you to have a look at our maximum security twilight zone areas).
-Take all measures to enhance the credibility of Libyan government and their representatives (Pledge guilty and we‘re in business).
- Create a counter balance to the PR and media activities of rebels and the allied forces (You mean the Freedom Fighters and their supporters? Forget it. We're not some kind of Houdinis here, man. Go and ask SANA).
- Avoid action which is damaging to the image of the Libyan government (Sounds like the best part of the work: simply doing nothing. Your image is yet totally damaged, can‘t get lower).
- Day by day trouble shooting in media and PR sectors (Yep. Look at your friend Mubarak: he‘s exercising it at the moment. You prefer also a stretcher?).
- Assist the Libyan government in managing contacts on the international political level (No problem. You will be surprised how many international war criminals will share your fate in common. So whom do you prefer as cell neighbor? Lukashenko? Saleh? The Assad brothers?).
-A wide range of publications, from2 to 4 page briefings all the way through to 250-page books (Done. The ICC files are big enough).
- Commissioning a range of academic studies (Don‘t worry. An international gremium of psychological analysts will be busy over the years with your case).
- Identifying and influencing existing and up-and-coming politicians (I‘m sure the younger generations of common officials will have a look at you - as deterrent).
Opinion makers and academics that have shown a non-interventionist approach (Better let this your lawyer decide - at least he‘s the one who possibly blames himself with).
- comprehensive constantly updated websites (Every single minute of your trial will be recorded online).
- A range of international conferences and speeches (Before or after the ICC sentenced you?).
- Round-table meetings (with your lawyers, arranged).
- Comprehensive media outreach identifying as many newspapers and journalists as possible (Have I mentioned you‘re repeating yourself?).
We are off course open to your ideas and proposals (But I‘m afraid you won‘t even understand one single word of it, eh?).
Thank you
Ali Darwish
Mission for Peace (again: ?!?)
Ministry of Information (Note to myself: thank the computer industry for inventing the ,delete‘-button ..)
This mail was released (without the comments of course, what do ya think?!? Time‘s money and I would‘ve earned even some bucks for it!!) in the online newspaper The Algemeiner on Aug 18th, 2011.
In a desperate try to re-legitimize themselves (which is more than impossible) they wrote the following letter to some major PR agencies (comments correspond to the thoughts of an average reasonable marketing expert):
Subject: Mission for Peace (?)
Dear Sir/madam
My Name is Ali and I work for the “” at the Ministry of Information in Libya. (Poor guy ..)
We are seeking to employ your PR company to present our just and fair (Fair??? 42 years terrorizing the own population isn‘t fair, or?) case to the world. Libya has been under an unjustified media and PR attack (aha, an attack, not a campaign) which led to NATO’s military involvement since the 19th of March. We also face an armed rebellion that has been causing violence, terror and destruction in many parts of the country (Sure? In every liberated part I see smiling, happy people).
We have good moral (you mean the stubbornness of your boss), political and legal logic supporting our position as the legitimate, sovereign and popular government of Libya (Logic? Legitimate?? Popular??? Three lies in one sentence, mind that!). We also have proofs in written, audio and video forms to take our case forward (Oh, you mean Saifs deranged recordings? Hold on ,til we called our psychiatrist.).
The African Union, Libya’s essential geopolitical space (Please, don‘t involve a whole continent in your dirty affairs!), has been supporting (The voice of Mugabe doesn‘t count!)our effort to establish (rest in) peace and security (prisons) for all Libyans, so have important political figures from around the globe (Wait: Pol Pot and Baby Doc passed away .. Kim Yong Il?).
If we reach an agreement we will make sure it will be for the good of all Libyans and in accordance with the UN resolutions on Libya (Very simple: You surrender and deliver yourself to The Hague. Receipts of the TV broadcast will be collected in a fund for the Libyan victims you left). We can formalise any deal with your organisation through a third party to help move things forward fast (The third party we accept are the security officers who handcuffs you).
In particular, we need you to help us (Now it gets thrilling):
- Improve the image of the Libyan government in your country (Very easy. You are are bunch of mass murders under the lead of an old narcistic clown).
- Open direct communication channels to members of Parliament, party leaders and members of government (The problem is: even if we open those communication channels the politicians won‘t listen to you. If they want senseless entertainment they switch on the comedy channel.).
- Create effective communication platforms for the members and leaders of the Libyan government (That‘s to handle. Your counsels for the defense will listen to you wherefore we all pity them).
- Assist the Libyan government to define their political and strategic mission and to transmit the statements in appropriate wording (What about simply pledging guilty?).
- Organize or assist in daily media briefings and/or formal media conferences (Don‘t need to. The High Court will appreciate your presence as well).
- Organize off-the-record and on-the-record one-on-one meetings with opinion leaders of your national media (I‘m afraid we haven‘t got so many bewildered anymore in our media landscape. But I assure you to have a look at our maximum security twilight zone areas).
-Take all measures to enhance the credibility of Libyan government and their representatives (Pledge guilty and we‘re in business).
- Create a counter balance to the PR and media activities of rebels and the allied forces (You mean the Freedom Fighters and their supporters? Forget it. We're not some kind of Houdinis here, man. Go and ask SANA).
- Avoid action which is damaging to the image of the Libyan government (Sounds like the best part of the work: simply doing nothing. Your image is yet totally damaged, can‘t get lower).
- Day by day trouble shooting in media and PR sectors (Yep. Look at your friend Mubarak: he‘s exercising it at the moment. You prefer also a stretcher?).
- Assist the Libyan government in managing contacts on the international political level (No problem. You will be surprised how many international war criminals will share your fate in common. So whom do you prefer as cell neighbor? Lukashenko? Saleh? The Assad brothers?).
-A wide range of publications, from2 to 4 page briefings all the way through to 250-page books (Done. The ICC files are big enough).
- Commissioning a range of academic studies (Don‘t worry. An international gremium of psychological analysts will be busy over the years with your case).
- Identifying and influencing existing and up-and-coming politicians (I‘m sure the younger generations of common officials will have a look at you - as deterrent).
Opinion makers and academics that have shown a non-interventionist approach (Better let this your lawyer decide - at least he‘s the one who possibly blames himself with).
- comprehensive constantly updated websites (Every single minute of your trial will be recorded online).
- A range of international conferences and speeches (Before or after the ICC sentenced you?).
- Round-table meetings (with your lawyers, arranged).
- Comprehensive media outreach identifying as many newspapers and journalists as possible (Have I mentioned you‘re repeating yourself?).
We are off course open to your ideas and proposals (But I‘m afraid you won‘t even understand one single word of it, eh?).
Thank you
Ali Darwish
Mission for Peace (again: ?!?)
Ministry of Information (Note to myself: thank the computer industry for inventing the ,delete‘-button ..)
This mail was released (without the comments of course, what do ya think?!? Time‘s money and I would‘ve earned even some bucks for it!!) in the online newspaper The Algemeiner on Aug 18th, 2011.
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