Nowadays all and everything can be rated. A state causing many not only headaches but real existential problems. Companies, producers, individuals - even whole countries are at the lords prognosis' mercy intensively hoping not to get downgraded and therefore becoming a worse investment product.
What if one of those rating agencies would be dealing with - tyrants? First of all business had become in 2011 increasing dull. Three of the 'objects' have somehow hit the road - one fled in exile, one's facing his trial, one isn't anymore alive - and two others are facing meanwhile the dawning of their monocratic rulership - one has signed his resignation and is actually in the transition tunnel and the other is becoming the most isolated of all, tendency rising.
Tyrants are devils in the eyes of their oppressed population and the worldwide freedom supporters. And rating agencies are seen from the sceptical public as a devil's instrument. Ergo similia similibus solvuntur - similar could indeed a headline look if such an extraordinary 'axis of evil' might be reality.
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Internal Document Leaked - Rating Agency Refuses Statement
Short before the confident analysis has reached guarantors and investors an anonymous whistleblower leaked this internal draft to the public. Besides the green marked secret recommendations the real scandal is the proposal to speculate on the army forces in Egypt (in the document below red marked), a country whose client was according to his resigning withdrawed and which is actually holding free elections. The executive board of the rating agency was not until yet disposable for a press release or another kind of statement.
Below the reprint of the leaked document:
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Conscius, Lessness & Greede - The Tyrants‘ Rating Agency
Prognosis issue 4th quarter 2011
From originally 12 clients 3 clients in 2011 withdrawn. Prognoses expecting 1 or 2 clients more before end of actual quarter. No client any longer in the A rating sector. Downwards tendency increasing. Generally guarantors and investors are recommended to change their portfolios.
(internal: green marks proposing possible new investment partners)
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Achmadinedschad
Country: Iran
Guarantors: Russia, China
Relations to: Assad, Hezbollah
Long-Term Obligation Rating: Ca ( -1 )
Estimated ousting: B
Notifications: Urged by the Shiite Clergy client‘s perspectives have
decreased in 2nd and 3rd quarter 2011. Eye on Khamenei
as possible common client.
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Assad
Country: Syria
Guarantors: Russia, China
Relations to: Hezbollah, Ahmadinedschad,
obviously al-Sadr
Long-Term Obligation Rating: C ( -2 )
Estimated ousting: V
Notifications: Proven as unable to fulfill arrangements client bears
the risk of WR before end of 4th quarter 2011. Guarantors
beginning to withdraw from their own, rest should remove
client‘s shares short-termed of their portfolio
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Ben Ali
Country: Tunisia
Guarantors: The people (official since free elections
beginning 4th quarter 2011)
Relations to: Arab neighbors, EU, others
Long-Term Obligation Rating: WD
Confirmed ousting: E
Notifications: Client fled in 1st quarter 2011. Chances getting back to power
rated at less than 1%
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Bouteflika
Country: Algeria
Guarantors: Russia, China, U.S., EU, others
Relations to: Global armament industries
Long-Term Obligation Rating: Caa ( -1 )
Estimated ousting: B
Notifications: Transparency rating results discovered a strong military
apparatus behind client. Chances on client‘s replacement
becoming higher. Eye on army generals as possible common
clients
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Chavez
Country: Venezuela
Guarantors: China, Iran, some
Latin American nations
Relations to: The Castros and
the faded Gaddafi
Long-Term Obligation Rating: Ca ( -1 )
Estimated ousting: LNE
Notifications: Client‘s exposed self-overestimated. Recent release about
client‘s medical state from a source who later has left the
country still causes panic among investors, downward spiral
prognosed
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Gaddafi
Country: Libya
Guarantors: Since 3rd quarter 2011 the people,
the NTC and the interim government
in a transition period until the first free
national elections
Relations to: The Arab, African and Western world,
with under esp France
Long-Term Obligation Rating: WD
Confirmed ousting: L
Notifications: Client decided to die beginning of 4th quarter 2011. Client‘s son and
former regime's most wanted No.3 arrested middle of 4th quarter 2011.
Chances getting back to power confirmed as 0%
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Kadyrov
Country: Chechenia (Russian territory)
Guarantors: Russia
Relations to: Organized crime
Long-Term Obligation Rating: B ( +/-0 )
Estimated ousting: V
Notifications: Client prognosed strongly back-upped from guarantor who
claims to remain client‘s executive owner. Estimated ousting
rated because of client‘s relations. Consultation with the key
guarantor highly recommended
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Kim Yong Il
Country: Democrat Republic Of Korea
Guarantors: China, Russia
Relations to: Countries like Libya no longer.
Outspread of successful popular
uprising bearing high risk
Long-Term Obligation Rating: Ca ( -1 )
Estimated ousting: RP
Notifications: Upcoming age of client estimates more retarding than being
toppled. Eye on his son and designated follower Kim Yong Un
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Lukashenko
Country: Belarus
Guarantors: Russia, Europe
Relations to: Russian energy companies
Long-Term Obligation Rating: Caa ( -1 )
Estimated ousting: <not predictable>
Notifications: Client represents running out model. Measures to uphold
tyranny short-termed and counterproductive. Especially
guarantor Europe recommended to remove from portfolio
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Mubarak
Country: Egypt
Guarantors: Longer as planned the SCAF.
Free elections in progress.
Relations to: The Arab world and mainly
the Western nations
Long-Term Obligation Rating: WD
Confirmed ousting: RS
Notifications: Client resigned end 1st quarter 2011. Army council took
over. Outlook momentarily not possible. Eye on army
apparatus
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Mugabe
Country: Zimbabwe
Guarantors: Russia, China, others
Relations to: other tyrants
Long-Term Obligation Rating: Ca ( -1 )
Estimated ousting: <not predictable>
Notifications: In case of client‘s passing Zvangirai (not relevant as new client)
most possible follower. Investors should remove short-termed
client‘s shares of their portfolio
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Saleh
Country: Yemen
Guarantors: GCC, U.S., Russia, China, others
Relations to: Saudi Arabia as result of a
longer medical treatment
Long-Term Obligation Rating: C with Reservations ( -1 )
Estimated / Confirmed ousting: RS/E
Notifications: Client signed resign declaration in 4th quarter 2011.
Transitional period of resign in progress. Short- and
mid-term predictions regarding current situation
delayed to end of client‘s transitional period. High
speculative object in the meantime. Eye on client‘s loyals
Rating legend
Aaa Clients rated Aaa are judged to be of the highest quality, with
minimal ousting/resigning risk
Aa Clients rated Aa are judged to be of high quality and are subject
to very low ousting/resigning risk
A Clients rated A are considered upper-medium grade and are subject
to low ousting/resigning risk
Baa Clients rated Baa are subject to moderate ousting/resigning risk
Ba Clients rated Ba are judged to have speculative elements and are
subject to substantial ousting/resigning risk
B Clients rated B are considered speculative and are subject to
ousting/resigning risk
Caa Clients rated Caa are judged to be of poor standing and are subject
to very high ousting/resigning risk
Ca Clients rated Ca are highly speculative and are likely in, or very near,
default, with some prospect of recovery of principal and interest
being subject to dramatical ousting/resigning risk
C Clients rated C are the lowest rated class and are typically in default,
with little prospect for recovery of principal or interest being subject
to soon confirmed ousting/resigning
WD Client withdrawn as reaction on confirmed ousting
Ousting legend
B Bureaucratic
E Exile
L Lethal
LNE Losing Next Elections
RP Replacement
RS Resigning
V Violent